Lent Study - Day 5

Wow.... for those that think God doesn't speak to them all I have to say is, maybe you just aren't listening closely! Today was Sunday, my favorite day of the week! Our family is usually joyful as we get up and prepare to go to church. Coming home, fixing lunch together and joking and laughing, taking afternoon naps, playing games and watching NASCAR. (I'm rolling my eyes, but must include hubbies hobbies right?!) lol

I hadn't read forward to see what today's Lent study was until this evening. I know, I should have, if I'm going to keep this study going I need to be prepared at least a day before and plan accordingly. When I opened my study guide to see what it was.... talk about a moment of awe. God was preparing me for today without me even realizing it.

My hubby and I went out for dinner last night on our date night and I tend to feel a bit guilty overindulging in good food at times. We didn't eat breakfast this morning before church and let me tell you our bellies were both growling mid-way through this mornings sermon!

We looked at one another and spontaneously and at the exact same time said, "I'm hungry!" lol We had just talked about fasting the day before and a friend who had just done a three day fast who is working in Haiti. Discussing our thoughts on how difficult or easy it might be. Then during the sermon it led to fasting. Which of course brought food to our minds even more!

I told my husband that I feel ashamed when I say I'm hungry. Knowing there are soooo many people....children....in the world who are hungrier than I can imagine. I feel ashamed of being overweight and binging on junk food so often.

We get home from church (after an hour drive that should have only taken ten minutes. Can you say SNOW! but that's a post for another time), I started fixing lunch after changing my clothes and we all sat down and ate. I marveled at my children laughing, fighting over the ketchup. Arguing over who gets the last piece of homemade cheesy bread. I'm praying in my mind for all the children who are hungry right now. Right at this very moment dying because their bellies are empty, their bodies are malnourished and starving. Trying not to cry when my family is enjoying the sabbath.

After the kids leave the table I confess to my husband the thoughts of guilt and sadness. How can something that is such a blessing for us be so barren for another. How or why did God decide in his grace to allow my family to be born in America rather than Africa? Rather than Haiti? My heart aches for the ones I want to help, but can't seem to reach. I want to feed the world!

I imagine in another time, if I were born to another generation I would have been in the Peace Corp and would have never looked back. I dream of a day when I can go on missions for weeks... months on end. I often times ask the Lord to break my heart with what breaks His. And sometimes I have to be reminded.... be careful what you wish for. Not that it's a bad thing, but you better be prepared for the helplessness you sometimes feel. The agony it can bring to a Christian heart when you feel you have never done enough.

Wanna know what the Lent lesson was today?

"Think about a day in your life when you were hungry. Really, really hungry."

Yes Lord, I'm listening.......

Every THREE seconds a child dies because he or she was hungry.

That's a hard fact to grasp huh. When my children claim they are hungry, what's for supper? They have no idea what it really means to be hungry. So desperate that you are dying.

--James 1:27

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:

to look after orphans and widows in their distress

and to keep oneself from

being polluted by the world.